i cry

i cry when i see their beautiful eyes
sparkling from beneath layers of dirt and grime
and poverty and pain that they have yet to grow into
but for now:
he flashes a gap-toothed grin at my camera
she braids and twists and curls my hair
and they take my hands
& wipe away my tears with their contagious laughter

morning sunshine

[[itunes: Beautiful Disaster_Jon McLaughlin]]

they call it something psychological

resounding thoughts
echo but never get lost
an owl’s constant query
i know nothing else

examine

every

inch

Overwhelming
Condescending
Delusion

Oh Calm Down

But You call me Beautiful.

escapes a sigh of relief
breathe out so i can breathe You in
the good news is almost more than i can bear

and now:

I can breathe
with a head clear
of echoes long lost

f r e e

it must be something in the air

but ma..

seems to me, love's a pretty dumb thing to be writing about these days

but everyone's doing it anyways






if you're looking for me, i'll be jumping off that bridge.

blue eyes

Setting: that little cafe we both used to enjoy
though we both only pretended to enjoy
coffee. The smell of it permeates the air,
mingling with the constant chitter-chatter,

of hearts becoming one.
Filling the small confines of,
that little cafe we both used to enjoy.
And you,

you who were once my love,
though perhaps we were too young for love
in a time when we were naive enough to love
the security and sophistication in saying the words, "I love

you. You enter the scene,
and I must once again familiarize myself
with the task of forgetting how it once was.

"Hello", you say. And the charade begins.

Something so toxic can hardly be right,
but the blue in your eyes takes me to past heights.

So i keep my eyes fixed on the table. the floor.
anywhere, but where your frozen blue meet my longing own;
Working like an elixir to make me tell the truth.
And it takes all inside me to hold myself back;
This facade hides the fact that i'm all but relaxed.

For it's taken some time for me to learn,
i must fix my eyes where yours are sure not to return

something so toxic can hardly be right
but the blue in your eyes takes me to past heights


im just trying to make sense of the present tense

the death of innocence

once upon a time, there lived a girl. this girl had everything to offer, and nothing to lose.
one day, this young girl met a boy. he was a nice boy, as far as boys his age are concerned. he gave her flowers. he wrote her notes. he surprised her with all things considered sweet. he called her beautiful. so she gave him her heart.
but one day, the girl woke up and the boy was gone. and in the space where he had stood, lay the pieces of her heart. the one that she had given him.
and the little girl who once had so much to offer and nothing to lose, was left with nothing to offer.

and everything was lost.

SATELLITE by dave matthews band

Satellite in my eyes
Like a diamond in the sky
How I wonder.
Satellite strung from the moon
And the world your balloon
Peeping tom for the mother station
Winters cold spring erases
And the calm away by the storm is chasing
Everything good needs replacing
Look up, look down all around, hey satellite
Satellite, headlines read
Someones secrets youve seen
Eyes and ears have been
Satellite dish in my yard
Tell me more, tell me more
Whos the king of your satellite castle?
Winters cold spring erases
And the calm away by the storm is chasing
Everything good needs replacing
Look up, look down all around, hey satellite
Rest high above the clouds no resrictions
Television we bounce round the world
And while I spend these hours
Five senses reeling,
I laugh about the weathermans satellite eyes.
Satellite in my eyes
Like a diamond in the sky
How I wonder.
Satellite strung from the moon
And the world your balloon
Peeping tom for the mother station
Winters cold spring erases
And the calm away by the storm is chasing
Everything good needs replacing
Look up, look down all around, hey satellite
Rest high above the clouds no restrictions
Television you bounce from the world
And while I spend these hours
Five senses reeling
I laugh about this world in my satellite eyes.

dont read this

[[itunes: stay - small sins]]

i'm really glad this is happening right now



so maybe im a fool. maybe im throwing it all away.
but the truth is im still naive enough to believe in hope.
and im still naive enough to hope in love.
and yes. im still naive enough to speak of love as some magical fairytale.
because i am just that naive.

and i like fairytales.



so ask me why.
why?

because i shouldnt have to ask myself if you love me.
and i sure as hell shouldnt have to ask you.

and frankly.
i deserve more.

so maybe its a bit of that forbidden fruit thing
well ive had a bite. and i dont like the taste.



im sorry its taken me so long to come to life.