if you could only see

if you could only see the way she loves you,
maybe you would understand


i see you
standing there
blank stare
heart bare
cold air

and im screaming at the top of my lungs
just trying to catch your attention
before i catch my breath

this cold air burns and bites
its bitter
so bitter

and im whispering at the tips of my toes
just trying to warm your ear
before warming your heart

open your ears:
you can hear me
near you
let me

open your eyes:
they're frozen shut
in the spring
you'll see

its been me all along
though you hurt me too
i'll still sing this song
i'm always dancing with you



and if you read nothing
read this:
in this bitter cold air
i care

familiarity

dark notes scribbled on a page
crossed off
crumpled up
thrown out
and built back up
the notes fall between the lines
off the page
for your voice to catch
it breathes familiarity
and i smile at the tune
with eyes shining
heart held
constricted

you played our song
i would give anything to sing along

now that i have you
is it you that i want?

eyes wide shut

spinning spinning spinning
beautiful and broken
broken but beautiful
chaotic oblivion
rushing running dancing to
[the end]
of which there is none
a kaleidoscope of colors
explosion of the stars
dizzy and reeling
please. stop.

to all the people who said i couldn't

well i did.

The One

The One: epilogue

You are The One
The Only One
The never gonna leave me One
The really truly knows me One
The love that never fails me One
The holds my hand forever One
And i'll make you my only One
and trust you'll bring me to the one
you picked for me, my final one.

You are my one and only One.

The One Who Had To Leave

The One: Part V of V

You were the one who had to leave
My beautiful mistake
My favorite accident
We fell in and out
quicker than we could catch our breath
Our hearts said yes, though the world said no
I begged you to stay, though we knew you should go
will you miss me too, like i miss you
will you stay - your lips give you away
will you say you’ll miss me one last time
oh how could you be saying goodbye

The One Too Perfect to Keep

The One: Part IV of V

You were the one too perfect to keep
The one who could have been
who should have been
who would have been
The king of all my coulda shoulda woulda’s
if only I had let you in

To The One That Got Away

The One: Part III of V

You were the one that got away
You were my missed chance
my game of push and pull
The one i wanted most
but only when you weren’t mine
I pushed you away when you were inconvenient
Only to find myself in the most inconvenient
state of being without you
Holding on to whatever remains
I suppose it’s time to let go

To The One I Forgot

The One: II of V

You were the one I forgot
You were my silly little crush
my giggling tongue-tied blushing crush
paper hearts
with confessions of love
scribbled in pink
embellished in glitter
tucked away in a shoebox with lace and bows
tucked away and forgotten
i’m sorry i let it go for so long
i’m not sure i ever really loved you
but sometimes i stalk you on facebook
just to see what you’re up to
and who is loving you these days

To The One Who Broke My Heart

The One: Part I of V

You were the one who broke my heart
You were all the words I never spoke
You were all my self-loathing
You were all my insecurities
You were all my questions doubts and fears
I loved you for so long
_ Years Later: my first free breath
better late than never